Saturday, June 09, 2007

I'm Just A Squirrel Who Can't Say No

Apparently, the squirrel population in San Diego's Balboa Park has gotten so out of hand that park rangers are giving female squirrels birth control pills. Guess they couldn't find any teeny, tiny condoms for the boys. And if I hadn't heard this from a police officer, I would've thought it was just another nutty urban legend.

At first the park service was using poison to stop the squirrel explosion, but other forms of wildlife were dying, too. Duh!

Wild Bunny #1: This looks yummy!

Wild Bunny #2: Oh, don't eat that. It's squirrel poison.

So several dead rabbits later, someone came up with the bright idea that if they could offer the squirrels worry-free shtupping, there'd be fewer varmints to deal with.

I can just imagine what it's like chasing down a bunch of squirrels every day and then trying to give them pills. How can you tell if you've given each and every girl squirrel her pill? And what if one of the smarter ones squirrels away all her pills in a tree somewhere and then sells them on eBay?

But here's what really puzzles me: Why in heck is the city spending money on squirrel birth control when an abstinence program would be so much cheaper?


Epicure68 said...

C'mon Liz, supposedly intelligent human beings can't stop doing the wild thing, you can't expect squirrels to stop as well. But why just the squirrels, I thought that rabbits breed like, well rabbits. What's next, crow STD prevention?

Liz said...

Not sure why it's only the squirrels that seem to be the problem, but the park service seems to think that chasing them around with birth control pills will lower the birthrate.

Personally, I think the only thing being lowered here is the park service's collective IQ.