Chanukah Humpday

It just so happens that the humpday, or 5th night, of Chanukah falls on Christmas Day.

So to celebrate the 25th of December, I'd like to share one of my favorite Chanukah songs, Adam Sandler's "The Chanukah Song."

Whatever and wherever you're celebrating today, have a joyous occasion.

And if you're stranded at O'Hare, the cleanest bathrooms are in Terminal K.

Deck the Halls With Boughs of Challah

Like many Jews, my family had two sets of dishes.

Unlike many Jews, our second set was the Spode Christmas Tree collection.

Apparently, we couldn't see the Haaretz for the trees.

Oy, Caramba!

In case you're wondering what I want for Chanukah, add this to your list: the 1958 Irving Fields Trio album, Bagels and Bongos.

So, who's Irving Fields? Well, he's a 93-year-old pianist and lounge singer and the guy who wrote the YouTube theme song.

I mean, who wouldn't want an album of Jewish-inflected Latin jazz?

A Day Without Naked Lesbians

So this is the photo the San Diego NBC affiliate chose to use on its website as a teaser for the "A Day Without a Gay" story.

According to KNSD, the real story is "A Day Without Post-Coital Naked Lesbians."

From the Dept. of "What If..."

If the California school system added Intro to Gay Marriage into its required curriculum, this is how a quiz might look:

1. Your lesbian aunt and her partner of 25 years are getting married. An appropriate gift would be:

A. A gift certificate to L.L. Bean

B. Baccarat stemware

C. A Hitachi Magic Wand

D. A Subaru


2. Two bears (you should know what bears are by now) are planning their wedding. Choose the most likely main course for the rehearsal dinner:

A. Vegan casserole

B. Wild salmon, Swiss chard

C. Something with foam

D. Double cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes from In 'n' Out Burger


3. You arrive at a lesbian wedding and are unsure of where to sit - the bride's side or the other bride's side. To make your decision you:

A. Ask one of the ushers which bride is the top

B. Consider the side with the fewest exes of either bride

C. Avoid the drumming circle

D. Flip a coin

Got Milk?

Saw "Milk" yesterday. Took me back to my baby dyke days when we all wore flannel and had the same haircut.

I'd just moved to San Diego in 1978, and I vividly remember the No on 6 campaign and Milk's assassination. The parallels to what's going on now with Prop 8 are uncanny.