Saturday, July 12, 2008

Ask the Maven

I'm often asked questions by non-Jewish friends about the many mysteries of Judaism. I'd thought I'd start to answer them here to help demystify Semitic semantics.

Please note, these are actual questions. I'm not making this up.

Question: Is soaking in Epsom salts a Jewish thing?

Answer: Although we Heebs have been known to enjoy floating in the Dead Sea, parting the Red Sea, and frolicking in the Med Sea (all three can be accessed in Israel, btw), Epsom salts are an equal opportunity pleasure that Jews and non-Jews alike utilize to relieve muscle pain.

Question: I fed my cat tuna and chicken on the same plate. He ate the tuna, but wouldn't touch the chicken. Is he kosher?

Answer: No your cat is not kashrut (or katrut in your case). Now, if you were to feed him a cheeseburger with a side of shrimp puffs, that would be one treyf-ridden meal. And your vet would probably kill you.

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