Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Homos

Finally, someone has found the link between music and homosexuality! Donnie Davis, leader of Love God's Way, an ex-gay ministry, has posted a list on his website of bands that make you gay. And it's a damn long list. Apparently all kinds of music can drag an innocent teen into the shame and debauchery of the homosexual lifestyle.

Okay, I get that bands like Queen and the Pet Shop Boys are on the list, but Cole Porter? Ravi Shankar? The Grateful Dead? And where are our favorites like Babs Streisand and Judy Garland? In fact, big lezzies like The Murmurs (featuring the very, very hot Leisha Hailey), Yer Girlfriend, and Cris Williamson are nowhere to be found, either.

Elton John has the warning "really gay" after his name. I didn't know there were varying degrees of gayness. And then there are Eminem, Jay-Z, and Ted Nugent. Apparently Nugent's on the list because he wore a loincloth at one (or more) of his appearances. And everyone knows that loincloths are de rigeur in the homo wardrobe.

So, thanks to Donnie's insight, I'm adding every Elton John album to my iPod. I want to know what it feels like to be "really gay."

7 comments:

Dan B (no, not Bennett, think harder) said...

Dan B (no, not Bennett, think harder) said...
Speaking of Judy Garland, there is an amazingly popular new group on Yahoo called THE JUDY GARLAND EXPERIENCE. The group features ultra rare audio files, photo's, lively discussions and more, the only thing missing is you!
http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/thejudygarlandexperience/

Liz said...

Hey Dan, thanks for that link. Be sure to pass it on to Donnie!

JahTeh said...

Something else I have to worry about. Bands to drive me to drink, bands that I have to take drugs to listen to now bands that will make me gay. The list is defective, I've been listening to Ravi Shankar for 25 years and blokes still rock my boat. Nothing beats a good woman as a friend though.

Liz said...

Hey Jahteh, and as much as I hate to admit it, I've listened to Doris Day once or twice and I'm still as queer as a three dollar bill. Go figure.

natalie dresst said...

I hate to rain on the parade, but I got fooled by this site a while ago. It turns out to be a hoax. Go back to his site and watch the music video, G0d H4tes Gays (no, honest; it's so awful I would never make this up). I followed a few YouTube comments and links, and confirmed via Gurgling him that he's a professional actor and this is a spoof. (I thought the music video is much too professionally done)

Liz said...

Hey Natalie,

Thanks for the heads up! But we do know, somewhere out there, there's got to be a crazy evangelical dude with a similar list.

natalie dresst said...

Indeed.