We've Got Rules that Jingo Jingo Jingo

According to a recent article in the New York Times, the Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) is instilling a rule that all players must speak conversant English by 2009, or be suspended from the tour.

They claim it's all about the sponsors, but I think it smacks of good old American jingoism.

We already know that the LPGA doesn't acknowledge the presence of their huge lesbian fan base, or the fact that a whole bunch of women golf pros are also cunnilinguists.

Maybe if the LPGA took the nine iron out of its ass and catered more to the dykes on spikes who spend lots of money on the sport, the foreign gals could concentrate on just hitting the ball, er, straight.

Marriage is the New Black

With California's recent legalization of gay marriage, I've attended more than my share of happy homo weddings in the past few weeks.

The ceremonies were all heartfelt and touching. I cried. The brides and grooms cried. We ate very tall cake, danced in our bare feet, drank way too much Champagne, and no straight marriages were harmed in the process.

But marriage isn't for everybody. And it shouldn't become the latest cool, gay accessory.

In the good old days, we all lived in the gay ghetto, spent our nights in discos or drumming circles, and only hetero couples were prodded by friends and family with "So when are you two getting married?"

Now, gay couples can't go to the grocery store without some stranger approaching them to ask about the best wine to pair with lamb, and when they're tying the knot.

A Mighty Fortress is Our Bra

Just another funny bone tickler from the geeky genius at xkcd.

Btw, his title? "Frustration."