Air Medusa

It’s time for all those so-called summer blockbuster movies to come out. And next month a much-anticipated film with obvious Oscar potential will hit the multiplex. It’s called “Snakes on a Plane.” And, as much as I wish that title were some clever metaphor, what you see is what you get.

In a nutshell, two FBI agents are escorting a protected witness from Hawaii to L.A. In order to prevent the witness from testifying, a couple of bad guys smuggle a crate full of poisonous snakes of varying sizes on to the plane and let them loose during the flight.

But what really kills me is an article in today’s LA Times that credits fans with influencing the writer and director to ratchet up the sex, violence and bad language to garner an R rating rather than a wimpy PG-13. Apparently, dailies were posted on the web and fans weighed in on the film’s progress.

The result? An additional week of shooting to add more nudity and extra blood and gore. And the script got a makeover too - a boatload of profanity to fill in the gaps in the story.

Can’t wait for the sequel - “Rats on a Train.”

Woo Hoo! Rock and (2-ply) Roll!

For those of you who can’t part with your iPod, even for a moment on the throne, here’s the perfect gadget for you. It’s called an iCarta, costs about $99 and is designed to “enhance your experience even in the smallest room.”

Personally, I like my small room experiences to be quick and productive. No musical accompaniment necessary.

Holy L-Bat!

Next month DC Comics will re-introduce its Batwoman character as a 5-foot-10 lipstick lesbian with long red hair and a form-fitting outfit that leaves no room for water weight gain.

The original Batwoman was introduced in 1956 and then killed off in 1979. The new super heroine, also known as Kathy Kane, will be a blue-blooded Gotham socialite with a past – a former romantic connection to detective Renee Montoya. Everybody knows you can’t have a lesbian character without an ex lurking around somewhere. Who else would take care of her cat when she goes on vacation?

So this is what progress looks like. We can come back from the dead and save the world, but we still can’t legally marry.