Eau No!

I think the whole damn fragrance industry is smoking crack. A British company has introduced a perfume that smells like Stilton cheese, and toymaker Hasbro is debuting Eau de Playdoh. Yep, you too can reek of modeling clay. Just like a four-year-old.

Okay, unless you’re looking to have a three-way with Gumby and Pokey, why the heck would you wanna smell like the arts and crafts corner of a pre-school on a rainy day?

And Eau de Stilton? What are those Brits thinking? This is a Very Stinky cheese. And what about the other four food groups? Nothing like the scent of a sizzling burger behind your ears, or maybe a hint of Bermuda onion on your wrists and the essence of mixed nuts on the back of your neck. And don’t forget about day-old fish. That’s always a crowd pleaser, especially in warm weather.

I’m just waiting for the next trend. Animal excrement.